


finding north

by cherryjaem



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reunion, Slow Burn, all of the members are doing their own things now, and slow updates, canon+future fic kinda, just inactive, so yeah please expect mini stray kids, some of the members are married and/or have kids, they don't disband though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-01-06 05:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18382244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryjaem/pseuds/cherryjaem
Summary: Seungmin comes home for SKZ's 10th year anniversary. Feelings get involved.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

 

I go looking for you in time that’s stopped

No matter the obstacles, I always wind up at your side

My long, long journey ends and now I go back

I find my way back home to you again

\- _Way back home, Shaun_

 

 

 

  
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

**_January 2019_ **

 

It’s exhilarating as the first time, and this is already their 9th rookie award. Seungmin doesn’t think he could get used to it, to the feeling of Stray Kids’ name being announced as the winner of a certain award (best rookie award now, hopefully more other awards in the future).

 

Their Stays are shouting out loud, proud smiles and tears escaping their eyes as they waved vigorous hands at them. The stage lights are hot and blinding but it’s warm happiness that Seungmin feels blooming in his chest, relief washing over him as all their hard works are rewarded, how all their sweats and tears are finally worth it, how their sleepless nights and uncertainties seem like nothing in that moment. This is something Seungmin’s been dreaming of doing; to be on stage, to perform and for his hard work to be seen and acknowledged by other people.

 

He’s so grateful to be here, to be a part of Stray Kids, to be receiving so much love and support from his fans. He’d wanted this for so long- all of them had- and now that they were given the opportunity, he wants to keep giving and giving because it makes him happy to see people so happy because of him. He wants to keep singing and dancing and encouraging people with their music, and maybe inspiring them as well.

 

The team accepts the award happily, and Chan gives his speech and then Seungmin has the chance to say something, too. He thanks everyone, of course, from their CEO to their seniors at the company and families and friends and the staffs working behind the scene, and especially the fans.

 

Maybe to some people, Stray Kids aren’t the best, but Seungmin knows they will always be number one in their fans’ heart and that’s a comforting thought. Maybe, Stray Kids will never be the best, but he knows they will always be giving their best shot in everything they do and leaving no room for regrets, and that itself is already enough.

 

~*~

 

_**August 2027** _

 

It’s the vibration of his phone against the wooden table that wakes Seungmin up.

 

He’s immediately greeted by the bright lights of his apartment and a nasty kink on the side of his neck from falling asleep in an awkward position on his desk chair. Grimacing and with eyes still half closed, Seungmin looks for his phone from under the mess occupying his table. It takes a while but eventually Seungmin finds the said device, looks at the caller and answers the phone with a grumpy “What?”

 

“Seungminnie!” greets Jisung on the other end of the line. He sounds chirpy, like the Jisung he knows and remembers. Despite himself, Seungmin finds the corners of his mouth curling upwards into a smile. That’s a voice he hasn’t heard for a while, whose owner of the said voice Seungmin hasn’t seen for a while too. “Good afternoon baby boy!”

 

“Don’t baby boy me,” Seungmin tuts and yawns into his hand. He drifts his eyes up at the clock on the wall and sees that it’s already 1.37 in the morning. Damn, how long had he been asleep? “And it’s only afternoon for you.  _ Early  _ morning for me.”

 

“Oh shit,” Jisung gasps, as if only now realizing the time difference. “Sorry, dude. Sometimes I forgot you’re all the way in Boston,” he continues, sounding genuinely sheepish. Seungmin waves his hand dismissively even though Jisung can’t see him and gets up from his position at the study table to get himself a glass of water from the kitchen counter.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Seungmin assures. “It happens. Sometimes I do forget you’re my friend, too.”

 

“Hey!”

 

Seungmin stifles his laughter by downing the water that he’d poured into the tall glass. “Anyway, to what do I owe this pleasure of you calling me?”

 

Jisung snorts at this. “Can’t I just call my best friend to check up on how he’s doing?”

 

“Me? Your best friend? Since when?”

 

“I thought it was mutual!” Jisung gasps again. “Guess it’s one-sided after all…”

 

“Oh, don’t sound so angsty,” Seungmin rolls his eyes. He carries the glass of water back to his study table. After all, he has things to finish up and submit later in the morning. He wasn’t supposed to fall asleep, but guess he was just that tired after weeks of working on their final assignment. “I’m just surprised, is all. You hadn’t call for a while.”

 

“Neither have you, Seungmin,” Jisung states, voice suddenly small and low. That shuts Seungmin up into a stunned silence immediately. Jisung doesn’t let the silence to take over for long though, as if refusing to  make this call an awkward exchange. “Actually, I’m calling because I have something important to tell you.”

 

Seungmin swallows the lump down his throat and internally cheers himself when he doesn’t stutter as he says “Are you getting married? Telling me to come attend your wedding or you’re calling the whole thing off if I don’t?”

 

“I wish!” Jisung laughs and Seungmin can’t help but to laugh as well. “It’s even  _ better _ than that.”

 

“What could possibly be better than marriage between two people who love each other, for romanticists like you?”

 

“Stray Kids’ 10th year anniversary,” Jisung answers easily, readily, a grin in his voice. Seungmin feels his heart skips a beat. 10th year anniversary? Has it been that long? It feels like yesterday when they were all so young and eager and even desperate to break into the entertainment industry. Now almost a decade nearly passed and Seungmin finds it all so strange how quick time could fly by. “I talked about it with Chan and Changbin,” Jisung begins again when he’s met with silence on Seungmin’s side. “About what we could do for our Stays. We were thinking about making a special album and maybe a concert too if it’s feasible with everyone’s schedules. What do you think?”

 

Seungmin doesn’t know how to feel about that, honestly. He’s been out of  _ this _ long enough for it to feel awkward and scary. What if something goes wrong? What if they don’t like him anymore? You see, once upon a time ago, Seungmin had thought he belonged on the stage, had thought singing and dancing were all that he wanted to do for the rest of his life. It was his dream, but like other dreams, it had come to an end and Seungmin is a little more than accepting of that. Seungmin faded from the scene and here he is now, living a normal life as a normal citizen. He’s not sure he wants to go back to that kind of life even just for a little bit.

 

He’s not sure he’s ready for  _ that _ , for the spotlight and public eye to be on him again.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t have an answer now,” Jisung’s voice breaks into his thoughts and bringing him back into the conversation again. “I know I said Chan, Changbin and I had been talking about this, but Chan is still thinking about it, too. He likes the idea of releasing a special album for the anniversary. Performing on stage again though? Not so much.”

 

Seungmin thinks he understands Chan’s uncertainties and reluctance to get back on the stage to perform. While Seungmin’s disappearance had been quiet and rather predicted by the general public, Chan’s on the other hand had been nothing but scandalous. Seungmin remembers how rocky things were when  _ it _ happened, remembers how upset and disappointed some of the members were with Chan. But Seungmin doesn’t want to touch on that topic ever again as it’s all in the past now. “What about the others?” he asks instead. “Have you told them yet?”

 

“I have, actually. It was easier to drag them down to sit and discuss about it since we all live, more or less, close to each other. Sans Felix, of course. He just happened to be in Seoul for a gig and I grabbed the chance. They’re considering it positively, by the way” Jisung lets him know, then confesses “I wasn’t sure how to bring this up to you. I know you did mention you don’t want to perform anymore so I was scared you’d get mad at me and just straight up reject the idea. But Hyunjin told me to just go for it, just be forward and ask you.”

 

Seungmin tightens his hold on the phone upon hearing that name.  _ Hyunjin _ . They used to be so close, used to be the best of friends but look at where they are now. Out of all the members of Stray Kids, Hyunjin is the least person he keeps in touch with. Their last proper conversation was probably back to when Hyunjin enlisted in the army, and that was around 2 years ago.  _ 2 years.  _ Those years gone just like that.

 

“Give me time to think about it,” Seungmin finally says.

 

“Take your time,” Jisung sounds relieved. “We don’t have to make decision and announcement until January next year. Let me know after Christmas.”

 

_ Christmas _ , Seungmin echoes in his head, eyeing the digital calendar on his desk. It’s August now.

 

“Just...remember. Stray Kids isn’t Stray Kids with one of us missing. The empty spot will be glaring and the whole team would feel incomplete. But even if you can’t join us on stage again, I hope that you will at least participate in the album.”

 

Seungmin thinks about what Jisung’s said and sighs. “Okay,” he says. He has exactly 4 months to think and decide.


	3. Chapter 3

**_January 2028_ **

 

Seungmin’s plane lands at the newly opened terminal of Incheon Airport.

 

The place, Seungmin observes, is unnecessary _huge_ that it takes 10 minutes of walking for Seungmin to arrive at the customs clearance and immigration control area. At least they had a mind to install dozens of advanced automated machines in this terminal when they built it, making it easy for Seungmin to register his arrival and submitting any necessary documents. It takes literally only 2 minutes, and then Seungmin only has to get his luggages before he can finally leave the arrival area.

 

Which then sadly brings him to another problem.

 

You see, Seungmin is pretty sure he had the ticket (to get his luggage) neatly tucked at the back pocket of his jeans when he’d gotten up from his seat in the plane, but now said ticket had mysteriously disappeared! _Gone_.

 

This can’t be happening.

 

“What the heck,” Seungmin steps to the side as to not block anyone’s way, his hands frantically searching the pockets of his jeans. They find nothing though, and Seungmin feels a slight panic creeping up his being because he has some important things in those luggages and he can’t claim them without his ticket and—

 

“ _Looking for this_?” a deep voice interrupts his panicky moment. It sounds familiar but Seungmin’s brain can’t properly register it yet. He eyes the man bending down to pick something off the floor, his soft and fluffy hair following the gravity of the movement. When the guy lifts his head up, straightens his back and holds out a small ticket in his hand to Seungmin, Seungmin’s eyes immediately widen in surprise at the sight before him.

 

“Felix?” Seungmin asks in disbelief. Felix grins so wide that his eyes disappear into crescent moon shapes.

 

“Seungminnie!” Felix greets back, releasing his hand from his hand carry luggage to attack Seungmin with a bear hug. “ _Oh my god. I’ve missed you so much_!”

 

“Felix!” Seungmin says again once the shock’s dissolved and is replaced by delight of meeting his friend here. He hugs Felix back and squeezes him a little. “I’ve missed you, too.”

 

“It’s really been a while,” Felix pulls away to look at Seungmin. He switches back to heavily accented english when he says “ _Oh man, it’s so good to see you again_.”

 

“I didn’t know you were arriving today as well. No one mentioned anything to me.”

 

“ _I_ didn’t know you were arriving today. And around the same time as my flight? That’s crazy coincidence. Maybe Jisung knew and that’s why he told me to get on this flight,” Felix adds as an afterthought, catching Seungmin’s attention.

 

“Jisung is picking you up today?” Seungmin asks and when Felix nods his head enthusiastically, it all makes sense to Seungmin then. Jisung did plan for this to happen. “He’s picking me up today, too. I guess he’s picking the both of us up.”

 

“Oh, what?” Felix grins in amusement. “Is this supposed to be a surprise? Did we ruin it?” he chuckles, grabbing his luggage and walking towards the baggage claim area after passing Seungmin’s ticket to him.

 

“I guess he’s the one who’s going to be surprised seeing us together,” Seungmin smiles. Felix agrees with another laugh, and then they separate briefly to go to their respective baggage claiming station, only meeting again near the exit of the arrival area.

 

“Do you see him?” Felix stands on his tiptoes, trying to look for Jisung in the crowd of people. Seungmin does the same by craning his neck only, but he can’t seem to spot Jisung anywhere.

 

“There’s no way we can spot Jisung’s tiny self in this sea of people,” Seungmin murmurs but Felix heard him clearly and bursts out laughing out loud as they walk through the crowds.

 

“Don’t be mean!” Felix chides playfully. He pushes the cart with his luggages towards an empty area so he could fish his phone out from his back pocket. Seungmin parks his cart next to Felix’s and continues looking around for Jisung. “Let me see if he left any text,” Felix announces and unlocks his phone.

 

“Maybe he’s not here. Maybe he’s not even awake yet,” Seungmin groans and shakes his head. He wouldn’t put it past Jisung to forget he was supposed to fetch them at the airport that day.

 

“Have a little faith in him, will ya?” Felix teases as he types something on his phone. Seungmin knows Felix is just as tired as he is because of their long flights but it’s just so characteristically Felix to remain cheerful and energetic, even after all these years. Seungmin doesn’t know how Felix does it, but the familiarity is kind of nice. It’s nice to know that some things, some people stay the same.

 

Felix brings his phone closer to his ear and gestures Seungmin to lean in as well so Seungmin does just that.

 

“Sorry guys. There was a heavy traffic because of the snow but I’m almost there. But you guys met! Yeayyyy~ Meet me outside, gentlemen,” says the audio message.

 

“Well, I guess we’re meeting him outside then,” Felix puts his phone back into his pocket and faces the large window, only to grimace at what he sees outside. “Oh god, it’s going to be _so_ cold,” he says, and Seungmin has to agree to that. It is indeed snowing outside, although not heavily, it comes with a breeze that has Seungmin shivering just at the sight of it. Seungmin is appropriately dressed for the weather- at least he hopes so- but Felix is _not_. He’s only wearing a fluffy sweatshirt and a pair of jogger pants.

 

“Are you gonna be okay in _those_ ?” it’s a stupid question, of course, because the answer is obviously no. Having been born and raised in Australia, Felix was not accustomed to South Korea’s harsh winter when he first arrived in Seoul. Felix _hated_ the cold, and Seungmin is convinced Felix still hates it _now_. His assumption is confirmed when Felix takes a thick hoodie from his hand carry luggage, along with a padded winter jacket and scarf.

 

“ _No, mate_ ,” Felix answers anyway as he puts on the hoodie and then the winter jacket next. “I would literally _die_ as soon as I step out of this place.” Seungmin snorts a laugh at Felix’s overdramatic reply. He watches Felix loosely wrap the scarf around his neck and once he’s done, they pushes their carts out of the place to wait for Jisung.

 

They are immediately greeted by the wind once they’re out. The cold is biting against his exposed face and neck and even through layers of warm clothes. Felix whines his complain and abandons his cart in favor of shrinking further into his jacket while Seungmin shoves his ungloved hands into his pockets. He had not been in Seoul the past few winters, and somehow he’d managed to stupidly forget how _cold_ the winter could get here.

 

“We should have waited inside,” Seungmin starts, but gets interrupted by a car honking and stopping right in front of them. The window rolls down to reveal a grinning Changbin on the passenger seat, and Jisung stepping out of the car from the driver’s seat to greet Seungmin and Felix.

 

Jisung’s dressed in all black extravagant outfits from head to toe- in fact _too_ dressed up for someone who’s just fetching people at the airport. Jisung splurging a lot of money on himself (and rightfully so) is not a new concept to Seungmin, but Seungmin still finds himself staring at the silky button up shirt Jisung is sporting, with 3 of the buttons undone (what the fuck? It’s cold outside), at his skinny leather pants, his boots and the long faux fur jacket. He bets they all come from the same high-end brand- probably something he saw on a mannequin in the store and bought them all in a set because he’s lazy (to mix and match himself) like that, but loaded with money to be able to afford everything that was displayed on the said mannequin (Seungmin had seen Jisung shop like this several times). Seungmin finds it hard to believe that the day Jisung chooses fashion over comfortable clothes has come.

 

“Welcome back, my loves!” Jisung shouts loudly, enveloping Seungmin in a brief but bone-crushing hug. He moves to Felix next, whom, unlike Seungmin, screams loudly when he feels Jisung’s tight arms around him.

 

“Are you trying to kill me?!” Felix accuses jokingly but he’s hugging Jisung back, and together they jump excitedly while still being in each other’s arms, with Felix seemingly momentarily forgetting about the cold. Seungmin rolls his eyes because even as full grown adults, his friends are still such kids, but he feels warm at the sight, feels fondness and happiness spreading in his chest so he lets them be.

 

“You’re making a scene,” Seungmin hears Changbin says as he pulls open the trunk of Jisung’s Jeep Cherokee. He glances around while stacking his luggages into the trunk and notices that some people had stopped to look at them curiously, with a few of them not-so-discreetly taking pictures of Jisung and Felix with their phones. It’s a little uncomfortable, but at least the cameras aren’t aimed at Seungmin’s way so he thinks he shouldn’t be too bothered about it.

 

“Seo Changbin, are you really just going to stay there and not help me with these luggages?” Seungmin huffs.

 

“Not my luggage, not my problem,” Changbin singsongs from his seat.

 

“You’re so annoying,” Seungmin says without real bite in his words.

 

“And you’re still such a darling,” Changbin laughs. At the same time, Jisung’s hopped into the driver’s seat again and Felix enters the back seat.

 

“Hey,” Seungmin widens his eyes at Felix and then at Felix’s luggages that are still in the cart.

 

“Yeah, be a darling and take care of my luggages, too, will you?” Felix smiles his blinding smile. Seungmin exhales loudly in exasperation but moves to take care of Felix’s luggages anyway.

 

Yeap. Some things and people really don’t change.

 

~*~

 

_**January 2019** _

 

The bedroom door opens and closes with a click.

 

If it’s Changbin, Seungmin’s ears would be greeted by his annoyingly cute voice right about...now. But there’s nothing at all. Seungmin still refuses to pull his eye mask off though, so he perks his ears up instead. There’s a shuffling sound of footsteps in the dark room, and then a soft “Seungminnie?”

 

It’s Hyunjin’s voice instead of Changbin’s, but Seungmin doesn’t budge from his position of facing the wall. He’s tired and sleepy and wishes to get his rest. If Hyunjin has something important to tell him, or something equally important for him, Hyunjin will try waking up (the still awake) Seungmin again. If it’s not that important, Hyunjin will leave Seungmin alone and approach him the next morning instead. It seems like the latter when Seungmin hears shuffling again, but then the silence in the room is suddenly broken by the sound of Hyunjin hitting something and groaning unintentionally loud.

 

“Hyunjin?” Seungmin sits up immediately with worry, taking off his eye mask to see what happened. Hyunjin can get really clumsy sometimes and is prone to getting hurt no matter how many times Seungmin reminds him to be careful. Seungmin’s finger quickly finds the switch and turns the light on. He sees Hyunjin on the floor, his hand on his toe and wide eyes looking up at Seungmin.

 

“Did I wake you up?” he asks sheepishly. “Sorry.”

 

“You okay?” Seungmin dismisses Hyunjin’s apology because he’s more worried for Hyunjin’s toe- it seems like Hyunjin had stubbed it on Seungmin’s bed.

 

“Yeap. Okay. Totally fine,” he makes an okay sign with his hand. There’s excitement dancing in his eyes though, words he wants to speak but are held back with the press of his teeth on his lower lip. His eyes gleam with something like expectation as well, like he’s hoping for Seungmin to say more, to...ask him so he could tell whatever he’s wanting to say to the younger guy.

 

“What is it?” Seungmin sighs and pats his hand on his mattress- a gesture to invite Hyunjin to sit there. Hyunjin’s whole face lights up by the invitation, scrambling to climb on Seungmin’s bed and sitting in front of him.

 

“I have something to tell you,” Hyunjin starts.

 

“Yes, I can see that,” Seungmin replies in amusement. Hyunjin looks so happy and excited, if not a little nervous as well. It’s cute and endearing but Seungmin isn’t going to say that out loud. He’s not going to admit the sight is making his heart flutter. Nope. Never. “What is it?” he repeats his question.

 

“They’re considering me to be the new host for Music Core!” Hyunjin blurts straight to the point.

 

“What?” Seungmin’s mouth drops open in disbelief at this information. If he was tired and sleepy 5 minutes ago, he’s definitely more awake _now_.

 

“I mean, I’m just one of the candidates for the new host and there will be some small interview and audition that I have to go to before everything is finalized, but,” Hyunjin smiles widely. Seungmin finds himself mirroring the smile because it’s contagious and Seungmin is so proud of his friend and is so, so happy for him. “I was shortlisted and just the thought of it sounds crazy. Out of all the celebrities out there, I made it into the list?” he chortles, seemingly in disbelief himself. It’s a pretty sound. Seungmin’s always thought Hyunjin’s laugh and smile are pretty. He’s always thought Hyunjin is amazing, too, so he gets a little sad when Hyunjin doesn’t notice or think the same of himself. But that’s what friends are for, right? This is what he is here for; to remind Hyunjin and encourage him.

 

“Why wouldn’t you be? You’re hardworking and talented. Of course they’d want you,” Seungmin says. “Besides, you’re lovable so I’m pretty sure a lot of people would want to see you as the new mc.”

 

Hyunjin beams at the compliments, but the pink dusting his cheeks does not go unnoticed by Seungmin. “Thank you,” Hyunjin says. “Will you help me get ready for the interview and audition?”

 

“Yes,” Seungmin affirms and then yawns. “But after we get some sleep.”

 

“Oh, yeah, of course! Go back to sleep. I’m sorry I interrupted your resting time.”

 

“Don’t be,” Seungmin waves his hand dismissively. “I’m really happy for you, Hyunjin,” he smiles as he puts his eye mask back on and lays down. “Go change your clothes and then sleep. It’s getting late.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“Goodnight Hyunjin,” Seungmin pulls the blanket up to cover his body, drifting off to sleep almost immediately and missing the fond look on Hyunjin’s face as he greets Seungmin goodnight


	4. Chapter 4

_**January 2028** _

 

It’s dark in his hotel room when Seungmin wakes up but the curtains are still open, revealing the colorful city lights at night that draws Seungmin to get closer to the window, so he gets up and shuffles towards it. Through the reflection of the glass, Seungmin notices his hair sticking out in different directions from sleeping, but can’t be bothered to fix them. He’s alone in there anyway. No one could see him.

 

Looking out the window reminds Seungmin that he’s back in a city that never truly sleeps. Despite it being midnight, a lot of cars can still be seen navigating through the roads while the streets are still occupied by people walking towards wherever their destinations are at this ungodly hour. For few minutes, Seungmin stays observing the cars and people while letting his brain to wake up completely after a very long nap. God, how he hates time difference and jet lag and waking up hungry and-

 

_ Wait a minute _ , Seungmin widens his eyes and whips his head around to stare at his phone on the mattress in horror. He’d been exhausted that he’d declined to get brunch with Jisung, Changbin and Felix. Seungmin had requested to be sent straight to his hotel to wash up and take a nap first to recharge his energy, and while Jisung and Felix had complained at this, Changbin had made it better by suggesting they could get dinner together later that night instead. Although Seungmin remembers agreeing to it half-heartedly in his sleepy state, he also remembers setting the alarms on his phone so he wouldn’t be late to the dinner. They’d planned to pick Seungmin up at 7.30pm but the time on the wall says it’s already 12.30am now and  _ shit _ , Seungmin thinks as he takes the phone into his hand.

 

“Are you fucking serious right now,” Seungmin curses again seeing that his phone’s battery is dead. No wonder he didn’t hear any alarms! He’s usually a light sleeper that could wake up on the first alarm, but it makes sense now of why he didn’t hear any, taking full hours of sleep instead of a quick nap. Seungmin tsks his tongue in disapproval at the whole situation, but knows that there’s really nothing he could do but apologize for sleeping in.

 

Seungmin presses his phone against the built in charging dock on the nightstand and waits for the wireless charger to read and connect his phone. The screen lights up 5 seconds later, battery already starting to fill up. Seungmin sighs thinking this could have been avoided if he’d charge his phone first before passing out on the bed, but the said bed had been so inviting, had looked and  _ felt  _ so soft against his body that Seungmin immediately fell asleep upon making contact with the mattress. No one can blame him. Really. It happens. He was tired and in dire need of a good rest after a long flight. It’s a justifiable excuse.

 

As soon as the phone is on, Seungmin sees the texts coming in and he sighs loudly. There are 43 texts from Jisung, 10 from Felix, 3 from Jeongin and 5 from Changbin.

 

“Jeongin?” Seungmin arches his eyebrows up in pleasant surprise, deciding to open Jeongin’s texts first.

 

**Yang Jeongin**

I know you muted the gc forever 🙄 don’t even try to deny it!

Anyway welcome back!

Can’t wait to see you later

 

“ _ Can’t wait to see you later _ ?!” Seungmin rereads the last line out loud, genuinely shocked at this. He hadn’t made any plans to meet with Jeongin (yet) so maybe Jeongin was talking about the dinner?

 

The dinner!

 

“Oh my god, Han Jisung,” Seungmin frowns and opens his chat window with Jisung next. “Why do you never let me know of your plans beforehand?’ he uselessly complains because the person is not even physically there to hear it.

 

**Han Jisung**

Are you awake already?

Turns out something went wrong with Felix’s hotel reservation so he’s staying at my place instead

So i guess i can pick you up earlier! Got get ready

Oh by the way everyone will be there later

HOW EXCITING

I missed us ;___;

 

“You should have told me earlier!” Seungmin groans and flops on his back on the bed, scrolling down to read the rest of Jisung’s texts.

 

Hey we’re here already

Come on down

Hello???

KIM SEUNGMIN

Where are you. Please don’t tell me you fell asleep in the bathtub and drowned

Dude wtf seriously

YOU CAN’T BAIL ON US AGAIN

 

Seungmin does feel bad after reading Jisung’s texts. Jisung must have been worried, or worse, he could have misunderstood the reason why Seungmin was unreachable and why he didn’t show up. The texts from Felix were more or less the same like Jisung’s, asking Seungmin where he was and why he wasn’t showing up. They had asked for Seungmin’s room number from the lobby, but the receptionist had refused to give it to them for “privacy and security reasons”, and wouldn’t even connect the line to his room.

 

Seungmin chews on his lower lip and types a quick reply to explain the situation and apologize but before he could send out any text, there’s a video call from Changbin. Seungmin doesn’t hesitate to answer it, feeling like he’s already made them worry enough.

 

A loud “You little shit!” greets him as soon as the call is connected and it’s Jisung’s voice and face on the screen instead of Changbin’s. Seungmin is taken aback a little but recovers quickly and turns on the light near the bed so Jisung can see Seungmin clearer. “Where were you? Did you know how worried we were??”

 

Seungmin thinks he heard a voice saying “Calm down!” coming from somewhere off the screen and it sounds so much like their leader that Seungmin blurts “Is that Chan?”

 

“Yes, it’s me! Hi Seungmins~”

 

“Answer my question first, young man!” Jisung fakes rage, zooming the camera in to his eyes that are opened comically big. Seungmin can’t take the slightly older guy seriously like this, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel bad and guilty for briefly going m.i.a on them.

 

“Sorry,” Seungmin apologizes. “My phone died so I didn’t hear the alarm. I just woke up around fifteen minutes ago.”

 

“See, I told you it’s the jetlag,” Chan comments.

 

“Okay, but we were still worried sick, though.”

 

“For someone who was worried, you sure had a great appetite and ordered a lot of foods for dinner.”

 

“I stress eat when I’m worried!” Jisung defends himself. His friends are so silly and Seungmin can’t help but laugh at their antics.

 

“Why are you on Changbin’s phone and not yours though?”

 

“Because Changbin left and forgot his phone,” Jisung reasons but it doesn’t make any sense to Seungmin. “I was trying to guess his passcode but it only took 2 tries for me to get it.”

 

“Okay,” Seungmin looks at Jisung weirdly. “Still don’t know why you’re using his phone to make this call though.”

 

“Because I can~” Jisung singsongs. His eyes flickers to somewhere off the camera, mouth pulled into a grin as Seungmin hears someone entering the place and a voice that sounds like Changbin asking “Have anyone seen my phone?”

 

“Hey!” Changbin says, and the screen is a blurry mess as the phone is harshly snatched into another hand. “Who are you talking to?” Changbin adjusts the phone so he could take a better look at the screen.

 

“Hi,” Seungmin waves lazily as Changbin comes into view.

 

“Oh poop, you’re still alive.”

 

“Ha ha ha,” Seungmin laughs with a straight face.

 

“Did you have a good sleep?”

 

“I did, actually. But now I am wide awake and I don’t know what to do.”

 

“You can go clubbing!” Jisung shouts so Seungmin could hear him. “Show your face somewhere for publicity.”

 

Seungmin makes an ugly face at this that gains a laugh from Changbin. “He doesn’t like that,” Changbin tells Jisung.

 

“No, I don’t like  _ that _ ,” Seungmin confirms. “And I hate clubs. You know that.” Changbin snorts and takes a seat somewhere, supporting the phone on a table and adjusting the camera so all the three of them could fit into the screen. Seungmin’s eyes quickly drift to the eldest of the three. Chan is hunched over the table working on something on his laptop. It’s a familiar view, bringing Seungmin back to the past. Only Chan’s side profile can be seen, his hair dark and messy, and if Seungmin concentrates enough, he thinks he could see the seriousness etched on Chan’s face. Seungmin can imagine it; Chan’s eyebrows furrowing in concentration, his lips pressed into a thin line as he goes over the beats one more time. Seungmin remembers sleepy eyes and tired smile, Chan leaning on the member nearest to him to give them a back hug and sometimes borrowing their shoulder for a quick nap. Seungmin softens at this, feeling a sense of protectiveness for their leader. No one in the team is a slacker and they all work hard to get to where they are right now but Chan works the hardest amongst them all. As the leader, the responsibilities are expectedly a lot more, the pressure is higher and even after almost a decade has passed and Stray Kids are barely active as a group these past few years, none of the expectations and burdens to do well seem to lessen.

 

“Why are you guys still up and working at the studio?” Seungmin reprimands softly, mostly directing it to Chan. “Just call it a day and get some rest. Go back home to your families.”

 

“This is my family,” Jisung spreads his arms to gesture at Chan and Changbin. “You’re a family,” he then gestures his hand at Seungmin. Even if there’s truth in Jisung’s words, Seungmin  _ really _ can’t take him seriously, not with that playful lopsided smile on his face and the mischief glinting in his eyes. “Actually, you know what? I’m going to pack my things and go home to  _ you _ .”

 

“I’ll call the security if you do.”

 

“Ahh. It’s already 2028 and Seungmin is still out there rejecting my love.”

 

“I  _ was  _ actually heading home if anyone wants to know,” Changbin interjects. “But I forgot my phone and so here I am now back in the studio again, stuck in a videocall with you instead. Tragic.”

 

“Just end the call then,” Seungmin suggests but Changbin is quick to say: “Nooooo, Changbinnie misses his Seungminnie. He’s experiencing withdrawal symptoms after separation with Minnie yesterday.” in the most disgustingly cute voice he could muster.

 

“For goodness sake, Seo Changbin, you’re already 30 years old! Act like one!” Seungmin sighs in resignation. For all the times he pretended to hate Changbin and his  _ aegyo _ , Seungmin actually secretly finds it adorable, and he’s a  _ sucker _ for adorable people. Not that he would ever admit it out loud, though.

 

Jisung laughs out loud, clearly amused by how he’s happily clapping his hands like a seal. “Yah, Baby Changbin strikes again. Now that’s a character we haven’t seen for a while.”

 

“It’s in a dormant state because I’m not hanging out with the right people.”

 

“Excuse me? Am I that unworthy of your love and hugs and now even your  _ aegyo _ ?”

 

“You guys  _ hated _ it!” Changbin sputters incredulously, half-amused. “Only Felix and Hyunjin embraced Baby Changbin with open arms.” Seungmin is very much entertained by their squabble, but he can’t deny his heart skipping a beat hearing  _ that _ name, feeling a sudden bout of jitters in his stomach. Seungmin knows it’s inevitable, knows that coming back here means that he’ll have to meet Hyunjin again eventually. After all, Seungmin is here to participate in making the album with the members, which means that he’ll be seeing them a lot. Will be seeing  _ Hyunjin _ a lot. It’s not a thought and feeling he really wants to delve into right now so Seungmin shuts them off. Changbin’s and Jisung’s voices slowly become clear again as Seungmin tunes out his thought, and they’re still bickering loudly but Seungmin notices how quiet Chan is in the background, even though he does turn to look at Jisung and Changbin once or twice with a small smile on his face.

 

“Can you guys shut up please? Let me talk to Chan,” Seungmin requests. Chan lifts his gaze up at Seungmin upon hearing his name and offers him a huge- albeit a tired grin. He asks Changbin to pass the phone to him, so the younger one does. Now, Chan is closer to the screen and it feels like Seungmin can almost see the exhaustion on his face in high definition.

 

“What’s up, Seungmins?”

 

“I feel like I lost half of my brain cells from hearing Changbin and Jisung bickering,” Seungmin sighs dramatically. Chan laughs while the other two occupants in the studio shout their protest. “I’m trying to gain them back by having a decent conversation with you. How are you?”

 

“Good, I think.”

 

“You think.”

 

Chan laughs again. “Yeah, I’m good.”

 

“You look tired,” Seungmin points out.

 

“He always looks tired,” Jisung comments from the side.

 

“Hush. I’m good. Really. This is my default look. My own version of RBF.”

 

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Have you been getting enough sleep? Or should I personally go there and drag you to bed?”

 

Chan fake gasps at this, his hand on his chest. “It’d be an honor to be dragged by Kim Seungmin, but you don’t even know where we are right now,” Chan smirks jokingly.

 

“I can always bribe Jisung with cheesecakes and ask him to send me your location.”

 

“Sending the location to you right now! I want chocolate cheesecake please, thanks.”

 

Surprisingly, Seungmin does receive their location, sent by Jisung. The notification comes in almost immediately. It’s either Jisung is desperate for some cheesecake, or it’s his way of saying  _ please do come and send Chan home _ .

 

“I’ll go home when I’m done with this,” Chan says.

 

“ _ Or,  _ you can go home first and sleep, and then resume your work,” Seungmin suggests.

 

“That’s what I said to him too!”

 

“Stop interrupting our conversation, Jisung. You’ve already had your share but wasted it with bickering with Changbin.”

 

“Hey, I’m just trying to back you up, you ungrateful little shit!”

 

“Okay, that’s enough you guys. Now I’m the one losing brain cells and I really don’t need that right now because I have a song to finish,” Chan interrupts. “Anyway, I appreciate your concern, Seungmins. I  _ am _ getting some sleep.”

 

_ He’s not _ , is what the new text (from Jisung) on the notification bar says. Seungmin sighs quietly. Chan hasn’t changed at all. Seungmin wishes the older would look after himself more. It’s not like he can force Chan to sleep, though. He’ll let Chan be this time, but Seungmin promises himself to persuade Chan to go to sleep the next time he sees or talks to the older guy.

 

“Okay. If it gets too much, remember that it’s okay to stop for a while and get some rest.”

 

The dimples on Chan’s face show when he smiles. “Thanks. I promise I will. It’s just. I sleep better when Penny’s with me,” he mumbles the last sentence. “She’s with her mother right now and will only be back next week.”

 

Seungmin’s heart feels impossibly soft and warm at this. He supposes he can understand how Chan is feeling because Seungmin’s felt something similar before when he first moved out of the dorm and had to sleep alone without any roommates, or that time when he enlisted back in 2024. So Seungmin gives Chan a reassuring smile and nods his head in understanding. “Hang in there. She’ll be back in no time. How is she, by the way?”

 

“She’s the cutest little bub!” Somehow, Jisung is interrupting their conversation again but this time, he’s squishing himself next to Chan to be included in the frame. Seungmin has no idea where Changbin is at this point. Seungmin hasn’t heard Changbin’s voice for few minutes now. Maybe, he’s not even in the room anymore. “She has Chan’s dimples and curly hair and her cheeks, Seungmin! Oh my god. Those mochi cheeks!”

 

“Oi,” Chan laughs, but the mirth in his eyes is genuine. He visibly lights up at the mention of his daughter, and even more so when he listened to what Jisung said about her. Even though Seungmin follows the other members on his social media accounts, he rarely logs in. Besides, Chan is very reserved when it comes to his daughter and both he and his ex-wife would rather keep her out from the eyes of the public, so Seungmin wouldn’t know all updates on Penelope. He and Chan talk about her in passing when they text sometimes, though. Seungmin wishes he’d been more involved with them but he’d been busy trying to survive his classes in Boston that it often slipped from his mind. “She’s doing alright. Growing cheekier by the day  but she brings so much happiness and light into my life.”

 

“She sounds lovely,” Seungmin smiles. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

 

“She’ll love you.”

 

“Sadly, not more than she loves me though!”

 

“She doesn’t even want to be near you,” Changbin snorts. Hah. So he is still in the room. Only better in keeping his mouth shut, unlike Jisung.

 

“I’m offended! She  _ adores  _ me.”

 

“Guess we’ll find out when we meet her. Do we have any plans tomorrow? Because if we do, you better tell me now,” Seungmin gives a pointed look. “Otherwise, I’ll accidentally ditch you guys again.”

 

“Woops~” Jisung singsongs without remorse. “You know, if you check our group chat, you would know what we have planned together in there.”

 

At least, Seungmin has the decency to look sheepish because as what Jeongin mentioned, Seungmin did mute the group chat, only checking in once in a while when he’s not busy and even then, he doesn’t scroll to read the previous messages (the members talk  _ a lot _ , okay. Can’t blame him for being lazy to read everything). “Okay. I promise I’ll check the group chat more often.”

 

“Don’t only creep, please. Join in the conversation, too.”

 

“I will, I will,” Seungmin promises. Then his stomach grumbles in protest from hunger. “I gotta go shower now and then look for food.”

 

“Yeah, you do that. See you soon, Seungmins.”

 

“Alright. Take care and go home,  _ please _ !”

 

The sight of Chan laughing while pushing Jisung’s invading face away from the camera is the last thing Seungmin sees before he ends the call.

 

He lays down on his back on the mattress, eyes staring unseeing at the ceiling above him as silence engulfs again. Silence, to Seungmin, has always meant peace. Having lived with more than six other occupants in a dorm before, silence was a gift— the only time Seungmin could sit down and unwind, mediate from all the stress and chaos in his life. He’d never associate silence with loneliness but lately, that’s all he ever notices when he’s alone, and he’s alone a hell of a lot these days, even  _ now _ .

You see, silence was something Seungmin used to long for, grew to get sick of and learned to live with ever since he moved out of the dorm.

 

“You got what you wanted and now you don’t want them anymore. Perhaps, you really are one ungrateful little shit,” he snickers humorlessly to himself. 

 

His thoughts wander off before he can stop it, revisiting memories from the past and letting it play in his mind. He remembers concert venues filled up with fans, remembers the bright and hot stage lights, remembers the fans singing with them, chanting their group’s name, chanting  _ his _ name. He remembers hours spent sleeping in the plane and hotel rooms more than on his own bed, the happy smiles and tears of their fans from around the world, the days spent in the dancing studio to perfect their moves for their concerts.

 

Then he remembers arms holding him in a tight embrace when he cried, remembers a hand holding his and fingers entwining with his own. Seungmin remembers hushed conversations in the room he shared with two other people, late night walks when he couldn’t sleep, remembers pretty mole under an eye, remembers those full lips curling into a breathtaking smile.

 

Seungmin remembers being close with Hyunjin, and Seungmin remembers them drifting apart.

 

“Fuck,” Seungmin closes his eyes tight and covers them with his arm from the lights so it’s all darkness he sees. Maybe, coming here is a mistake. Or maybe, coming here is a good decision. Seungmin doesn’t know, doesn’t think he could decide yet. For now, he’ll just remember to take a deep breath in and out, take a shower and get something to eat. Other things, other people can wait. Seungmin will deal with them later.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for any errors that i might have overlooked.

**January 2019**

 

Compared to their previous choreographies, the moves for their new comeback songs aren't any harder, but they  _ are _ equally draining, especially when you've been dancing the same moves since morning and the clock now shows it's already almost a quarter to 11 in the evening. Seungmin is  _ exhausted _ , and he knows all of the members are too, so with this in mind, he endures another 3:27 minutes of the song and focuses on hitting the moves right with the beats.

 

When their dance instructor announces they're done for the day, Seungmin can't help but to breathe out a sigh of relief, dropping onto the floor to lie down for a bit before he moves to his next planned schedule: vocal practice. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Chan rushing out after gathering his things, saying his goodbye to the boys and disappearing out the door, probably to get ready to go live for his weekly broadcast with Stays. Seungmin admires the leader's dedication. It makes Seungmin wants to try harder for their fans, for himself, too.

 

A light groan escapes his mouth when he feels someone poking his stomach and he instinctively curls on his side to avoid being poked again. It's a useless attempt though, seeing how his attacker now aims for his side with more fingers and before he knows it, said fingers are now mercilessly tickling him.

 

“Stop!” he screams, half-wheezing and half-laughing, hands trying to push away the attacking fingers.

 

“What did you say? You want more?” Changbin asks, his tone teasing but now Seungmin is pushed onto his back and another sets of fingers attack his other side with tickles, causing Seungmin to let out a loud shriek. "Seo Changbin, I swear to God-"

 

"I'll help you!"

 

_ Oh, thank God _ , Seungmin thinks. Finally, someone is going to save him-

 

"What the heck!" Seungmin raises his shoulder up on instinct, trapping the hand tickling his neck in between his cheek and shoulder. "Hwang Hyunjin!" Seungmin throws a betrayed look at Hyunjin. And here he thought Hyunjin was going to save him, but apparently not. That traitorous so-called best friend.

 

Changbin falls back on his butt and together with Hyunjin, they laugh at Seungmin's reaction. Seungmin rolls onto his stomach and lies against the floor in defeat, feeling even more exhausted than he was minutes ago, thanks to his friends. "I hate you guys," he says.

 

Hyunjin grins at this and drapes himself on Seungmin's back, gaining a whine from the slightly younger guy because of the sudden weight on his back. "No, you don't."

 

"Yes, I do," Seungmin insists. He watches Changbin gets up from the floor when Jisung calls for him and then they leave the practice room together. Seungmin notices Woojin and Minho are nowhere to be found anymore, while Felix is seen teaching Jeongin a particular dance move that the youngest is still weak at.

 

"No, you  _ don't _ ," Hyunjin giggles and boops his finger on Seungmin's  nose. Seungmin only rolls his eyes at this and when he tries to get up, Hyunjin only presses down harder against him.

 

"Get off of me, Hyunjin."

 

"No."

 

"You're heavy!"

 

"You're too weak."

 

_ Ahh. This is going to take a while… _ "Hyunjin, seriously. I have to go for vocal practice."

 

"Huh?" Hyunjin lifts his head up in confusion to look at the clock on the wall. "With  _ ssaem _ ?"

 

"Nope. Alone."

 

"Ahh, Seungminnie!" Seungmin feels the weight has lifted up from his back. Seungmin was feeling hot and sweaty from all the dancing he's done, but the warmth from Hyunjin pressing on his back was not unwelcomed. Now that Hyunjin's detached himself from Seungmin, Seungmin wishes Hyunjin hadn't moved away even though he was the one who wanted Hyunjin to move. What a crazy thought. Despite himself, Seungmin quickly sits up so Hyunjin doesn't plop himself onto Seungmin again. "You're working way too hard. Just call it a day and do vocal practice tomorrow."

 

"Working way too hard? And this is coming from someone who practiced his dance until 2am yesterday?" Seungmin snorts. He wipes the sweat on his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt.

 

"Can't you skip vocal practice for today, Minnie?" There's something in Hyunjin's voice that makes Seungmin's attention immediately goes to him. He suddenly sounds so small and unsure, and Seungmin knows that  _ look _ Hyunjin is giving him. "Please? I want to go home, but I don't want to go alone."

 

Seungmin doesn't even contemplate. He nods and reaches for Hyunjin's hand to give it a squeeze. Seungmin knows his friend needs him. Vocal practice can wait.

 

They quietly get up and gather their things before saying goodbye to Felix and Jeongin. On their way to the elevator, they see Minho and Chan sharing hush conversation and laughing to themselves at the drink corner, so Seungmin says goodbye to them too. They acknowledge with the waves of their hands and a "See you later!"

 

"I thought Chan went on vlive," Hyunjin starts as they enter the elevator. Seungmin hums in agreement and presses the button to the lobby.

 

"Maybe later," Seungmin shrugs. "You okay?" he then asks when the doors close. Now that Seungmin is really looking at Hyunjin, he notices how tired Hyunjin looks. His face is pale and the light in his eyes are dimmed, and Seungmin worries for him. Hyunjin is good at masking his feelings that sometimes it's easy to overlook Hyunjin's sadness, worries and insecurities hidden underneath all his jokes and teasing and bright laughter.

 

"Not really," Hyunjin admits with a small smile. Seungmin nods in understanding and gives another squeeze on Hyunjin's shoulder.

 

The walk home is quiet. They always complain about how far their new dorm is from everywhere, but at times like this, Seungmin is glad that the dorm is at least only a 10 minutes walk from JYPE's building. As the winter breeze is cold that night, Seungmin finds himself zipping his padded jacket and inching closer to Hyunjin for some added warmth. Hyunjin lets him.

 

With more than half of the occupants out, the dorm is uncharacteristically quiet. Hyunjin lets Seungmin use the bathroom first to wash up. When it’s Hyunjin turn, Seungmin decides he’ll write in his journal to record down his day while waiting. He gets thirsty halfway through writing, though, so he goes to the kitchen to get himself a drink.

 

He walks back into the room to Hyunjin sitting on Seungmin’s bed, knees hugged tightly against his chest, a faraway expression on his face. Slowly, carefully, Seungmin climbs the bed and settles himself beside Hyunjin.

 

“Jinnie?” Seungmin calls with a soft voice, not wanting to startle the other guy. Hyunjin shifts his gaze to Seungmin, his lips curving into a small smile. Seungmin notices Hyunjin’s eyes are suspiciously misty, but doesn’t comment on it. “What’s wrong?” he asks instead. Hyunjin’s smile immediately turns into a frown at Seungmin’s question.

 

“I don’t know,” Hyunjin answers, his voice just as quiet as Seungmin’s. He lets out a shaky breath, and when his lower lip begins to tremble, Hyunjin presses his mouth into a thin line. Hyunjin doesn't say anything after that, as if unsure where or how to start but Seungmin doesn't prod him. If time is what Hyunjin needs, then time is what Seungmin will give.

 

Seungmin doesn't know how long they stay like that but Seungmin doesn't mind because he has patience for this, for Hyunjin. Despite the air feeling heavy with unspoken words, the silence in the rest of the dorm is nice and calming. It reminds Seungmin of his late night (or early morning) studies when everyone else is already asleep. He doesn't mind the silence every once in a while- appreciates it, even- because having that alone time to yourself is a nice and refreshing change.

 

Hyunjin doesn't want to be alone though. He'd make that clear and Seungmin is well aware of that. That's the reason why they're here in the first place. Sometimes, silence can be overwhelming; a catalyst to bad and negative thoughts so at times like this, a company or presence is important and can make a lot of difference. Seungmin gently grabs Hyunjin's hand to give it a squeeze that serves as a reminder that he's here for Hyunjin, that Hyunjin is not alone, that whatever it is, it will be okay because they have each other and 7 other brothers with them.

 

Seungmin isn't sure if Hyunjin fully understands the gesture, but Hyunjin starts sniffling right after. "I don't think I'll ever be enough. God, what should I do?" His voice shakes, and then it's his body that's trembling before the tears spill from his eyes. Hyunjin sobs into Seungmin's shoulder, his cries muffled by Seungmin's hoodie. Seungmin tightens his hold on Hyunjin's hand while his other hand finds its way to Hyunjin's nape. They've been here before: a couple of times during trainee days and once during the early days of their debut, and in that moment, Seungmin begins to wonder if Hyunjin's had similar episodes before but without Seungmin or anyone knowing, with no one to comfort and assure him. That thought breaks his heart because Seungmin would never want Hyunjin to go through dark times alone.

 

"That's not true, Jinnie," Seungmin starts, his thumb rubbing circles behind Hyunjin's ear. "You are more than enough. You have come a long way since our trainee days. We're all very proud of you."

 

“I'm just going to end up disappointing a lot of people, Minnie. Stray Kids deserve someone better than me. I’m going to disappoint a lot of people,” he says again. Seungmin shakes his head in disagreement.

 

“Trust me, you won’t disappoint anyone. You’re amazing and talented and you complete Stray Kids in a way that no one else could. Neither I nor the other members can imagine not having you as a part of us.”

 

Hyunjin shifts so he’s side-hugging Seungmin’s waist, face hidden on the crook of Seungmin’s shoulder as he cries harder. The position is admittedly a little bit uncomfortable for Seungmin, but he holds Hyunjin tighter and closer nonetheless, letting his friend cry all he wants if that would make him feel better.

 

The cries subside after a while, only little sniffles can be heard and Hyunjin’s warm breaths can be felt on the side of Seungmin’s neck.

 

“Sorry, your hoodie is all gross now from my tears and snot,” Hyunjin mumbles, breaking the silence. 

 

“It’s fine,” Seungmin dismisses and pets Hyunjin’s hair lightly. “I have like, a thousand more hoodies. No big deal.”

 

Hyunjin snorts because they both know Seungmin really is a hoarder when it comes to hoodies, but the giggles that follow are totally worth it. Seungmin feels slightly at ease listening to it because it sounds so genuine.

 

Hyunjin pulls away eventually, his eyes puffy and nose red from crying. Seungmin feels his heart sinks a little at that sight. Hyunjin is not an ugly crier per se (in fact, he looks unfairly beautiful even at times like this) but he's prettier when he's smiling and it's the only look Seungmin wants to see on Hyunjin's face. He wonders if it's weird to want to wipe the tears away from his friend's face, but he doesn't have to contemplate further as Hyunjin is the one to wipe his own tears first with the sleeve of his sweater.

 

"I'm sorry," Hyunjin starts again, blowing the fringe away from his face. "I'm just so tired and frustrated because I keep on messing this dance moves for my welcome performance as the new host for Music Core. It's just a simple step, Seungmin, but why can't I…?" Hyunjin sighs in frustration, his hands in his hair and fingers messily tangled with the light brown strands. Now that the suppressed feelings had been released in the form of (many) tears, Hyunjin seems to be able to voice out his worries and what's in his head a lot more better now, which is good.

 

"Calm down," Seungmin smiles and gently coaxes Hyunjin's hands to let go of his hair. "Like you said, you're tired. Your body's probably overworked at this point. You need to let it rest."

 

"There's no time to rest. I have scripts to memorize and rehearse. I don't think I can do it knowing I still haven't got the dance right."

 

"You still need to let your body rest even just for a little bit," Seungmin gives a look that says it's useless to argue with him. "Tomorrow's our day off. How about we rehearse the script together after lunch? And if you're feeling better, you can try practicing the dance again later in the day."

 

"But–"

 

"No buts. Trust me. It'll all work out just fine. You'll nail the dance moves and you'll deliver your lines without any mistakes. Even  _ if  _ you do make a mistake, that'll be fine, too. It's all part of learning process," Seungmin assures. "We can monitor the clips together after every show and find ways to improve, if you want."

 

Hyunjin smiles so widely at that, tears gathering in his eyes again but they seem to be happy tears this time. At least, Seungmin thinks they're happy tears. He would hate to make Hyunjin sad and cry. Hyunjin sniffles and dabs the sleeve of his sweater on the corner of his eyes. "Okay. Thank you," is what he says. "I'm so glad you're my friend and that we got to debut and be in the same group together. Honestly I–. I can't imagine not having you as a part of Stray Kids either. I can't imagine going through this journey without you," Hyunjin mumbles the last part but it's loaded with sincerity that makes Seungmin's heart swells with happiness. He feels appreciated and wanted, and can only hope that he can make Hyunjin feel the same.

 

"I'm always happy to help, Jinnie," Seungmin replies. "Are you feeling better now? Do you want ice cream and catch up on the drama you've been obsessing over lately?"

 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes playfully. "I'm not obsessed with Sky Castle. Just...heavily invested."

 

"Right."

 

"And I  _ do _ feel better now. Ice cream sounds good too, especially with no Chan or Woojin to scold us for eating ice creams this late at night."

 

"Aww, look at us being rebels. How exciting." Hyunjin laughs at the deadpanned look on Seungmin's face and the seriousness in his tone, which in turn makes Seungmin laughs because Hyunjin's laughter is just contagious like that. Then, "Mint choco chip ice cream?"

 

"You know me too well," Hyunjin grins.

  
  
  
  
  


Seungmin doesn't know what time it is when he opens his eyes again, mind still fuzzy with sleep and all that, but it's dark in the room now and he feels someone's pulling the blanket over his body, which was what prompted him to wake up in the first place.

 

"Hyunjin?" he calls sleepily.

 

"Shh. It's just me," that sounds a lot more like Jisung actually. "Go back to sleep," he says with a smile in his voice. Seungmin thinks he feels Jisung gently carding his fingers on Seungmin's hair, but he could have just imagined that. His eyelids droop closed again, the sleepiness heavy and the warmth beside him is so inviting. Seungmin snuggles closer and sighs in contentment feeling the familiar warmth and smelling the scent that is so distinctively Hyunjin. Seungmin doesn't know why or how he's able to recognize that in his sleepy state, but he isn't going to question that either. They must have fallen asleep while watching a drama on Hyunjin's phone. Seungmin doesn't usually share beds with other people but he has to admit that the extra warmth is nice, and to have someone to hold to sleep like this is also nice. It makes the night seems less lonely.

 

Seungmin presses his nose on Hyunjin's nape, slings an arm over his waist and falls back to sleep.

  
  


~*~

 

**January 2028**

 

Seungmin bows one last time at the middle-aged woman and thanks her for the hearty meal and complimentary cup of hot cocoa before stepping out of the restaurant. He’s so lucky there is such place so close to where he’s staying, serving delicious meals and open so late into the night. Perhaps, Seungmin will drop by again because the  _ kimchi-jjigae _ is to die for.

 

Seungmin checks the time on his phone and finds that it’s already almost half past 2 in the morning. That means it should be around half past 5 in the morning in Auckland where his parents are right now. Seungmin knows for a fact that his mom is an early riser, and he also knows he should have left a text as soon as he landed in Seoul, but well. Better late than never, right?

 

Seungmin exchanges texts with his mom while walking aimlessly around the area as he doesn’t feel like heading back to the hotel yet. That’s when he notices a huge billboard hung on a building of a famous mall in the city. He does a double take at the billboard, lips curling upward at the picture of the familiar person smiling back at him. The Minho on the billboard looks dashing, looks  _ exactly _ like the last time Seungmin had seen him- Minho remains youthful as if he doesn’t age at all.

 

“Maybe it’s the photoshop,” Seungmin blinks up at billboard-Minho, bringing his cup of warm drink to his mouth and sipping the cocoa, while his other hand is pointing up at the picture. He opens the camera application and snaps a picture before going to his kakaotalk to look for his chat with Minho. When he couldn’t find it, Seungmin has to resort to checking their group chat to get Minho’s id-slash-phone number.

 

“There you are,” Seungmin clicks on Minho’s id and sends the picture he just snapped as he slowly makes his way back to the hotel.

 

(image)

This is false advertisement

We all know how you really look like

Especially in the mornings

 

**Lee Know**

You know i can sue you for slander

 

It’s so late at night but Seungmin shouldn’t be surprised that he’s getting a reply almost immediately, that Minho is still awake at this ungodly hour. The entertainment industry requires you to sacrifice a lot of things and sleep is just one of those many things. Although, Seungmin  _ is  _ curious as to what it is that is keeping Minho awake at nights like this. Does he have late night schedules? Had he just finished working? Did he get hungry and is getting some late night snacks? Or is he still out, drinking with friends?

 

Ahh, but Minho sounds too sober for the last assumption though.

 

It’s not slander if i have proofs to backup my statement

I have lots of pictures of you guys

I knew they’d come in handy one day

 

**Lee Know**

Oh no, I am terrified

 

You should be

 

**Lee Know**

Lol fuck off little kim

I fear nothing in this world

 

Didn’t hurt to try

Could use a few hundred million wons

 

**Lee Know**

Welcome back

I’ve missed you

 

Sorry to say i didn’t miss you back

 

**Lee Know**

🤬🤬🤬🤬

 

And i’m sorry i couldn’t make it to dinner with you guys

I wish i had

But jetlag made me its bitch

 

**Lee Know**

Hah

Yeah well

I didn’t go either actually

 

Seungmin widens his eyes at this information. He thought everyone but him had turned up at the dinner, but apparently Minho didn’t either? Neither Jisung nor Changbin and Chan mentioned about this to him when they were talking on the phone an hour or so ago, so he’s finding this a little surprising.

 

Huh?

I thought jisung said everyone would be there

 

**Lee Know**

I had a last minute schedule

Couldn’t avoid it

 

_ Makes sense _ , Seungmin thinks to himself.

 

So you just ended work?

 

**Lee Know**

Yes

Where are you?

Wanna come over for a drink?

It’s really been a while

 

Only if you have food

 

**Lee Know**

There’s a snack here

I.e me

 

Yuck

you are so 2018

But i’ll be there

Where do you live again?

 

**Lee Know**

I’m at the same place

Our old dorm

 

Seungmin halts into a stop after reading Minho’s text. He has to reread it several times to make sure he’d read it right. When the members started moving out one by one, Minho was the last and only member who had decided to stay at the dorm because he was apparently lazy to look for a new place to live in and that he liked where he was currently living (even though the place was really far away). They’d joked and teased him by saying he’s one sentimental guy who doesn’t want to leave the dorm because of the sentimental value it holds, and Minho would always counter by saying he was staying only because the place was still under the company’s name so he didn’t have to pay a single won every month. When Seungmin thinks about this again and the fact that Minho’s possibly been living in the same place for the past  _ ten years _ , maybe there’s some truth in their teasing after all, that maybe Minho is  _ that _ guy who refuses to leave a place because it contains sentimental value to him.

 

Which is so incredibly sappy of him. Seungmin wouldn’t have thought.

 

**Lee Know**

Hey you coming or what?

 

A new notification startles him, pulling him out of his thoughts. Seungmin types a quick reply and heads to the nearest subway station while checking the route to get to their old dorm. Thank god for the operating late night trains these days. 


End file.
